Thursday, May 2, 2013

The TripAdvisor Game of Shame: Epcot Edition!

Here's something I discovered: People like to complain. I do it myself, quite a bit. But what I've noticed is that sometimes the complaining of other people gets so bad that it draws a line in the sand, labels it "irrational," then puts on some rocket pants and flies over that sucker! I've made up a "game" that always makes me laugh and feel good. It's a game because I feel like I always win, and now I'll share it with you.

Go to the TripAdvisor website, search for your favorite Disney theme park, and then go to the reviews section. Now, use the filter to only show the "terrible" reviews. And here's where the fun starts! These people complaining and listing their trip to a park as "terrible" become so out of hand and absurd that it becomes laughable. That's right, I'm laughing at these people. That's why it's the Game of Shame. Still don't know what I'm getting at? No worries, because I'm going to gather up some golden shame and post it right here for you. This edition takes us to Epcot! Let's do this!
Gateway to apparent disappointment.


"Typhoon Lagoon was such a more enjoyable experience than Epcot, because at least you can be in a swimsuit & get wet to cool down & lay in a beach chair. At Epcot, when your feet hurt from waiting in line & shuffling all day, the only thing you can do is sit on a bench in the glaring sun with your clothes on."

Wait, what? I'm not sure how Epcot was advertised to this person but I feel somewhere along the line, their expectations were grossly misinformed. Although it does suck that you have to keep your clothes on in Epcot... Let's try another!

"This is a dismal soulless place that tries to substitute for actual world travel by putting up tacky pavilions for various countries but it is really just a bad food court and an overpriced souvenir shop. Oh to top it off it's expensive and crowded too."

Bad food court? Okay, raise your hand if you've seen an Orange Julius or a Taco Time at Epcot. Yeah, I don't see any hands. And somehow they made it to the back half of the park and missed all the rides along the way. Well done, traveler! Here's some more:

"It was very disappointing. All the attractions are geared around shopping. There where very few street performers and the food was over priced. Next time I will spend my time on the beach!"

This person is right. I can't even tell you how badly I felt forced into buying solar panels after riding Universe of Energy. And I walked out of Soarin' with my newly purchased hang glider. These Disney people are very persuasive! More? More!

"I've seen this place about 5 time over the past 3 decades. What a total waste of money and time. Nothing more than a food court and souvenir shop. The entertainment sucked, the rides suck, and the have the nerve to ask $89 bucks and $14 to park. The place should be free. What the hell is wrong with disney? Never again unless they tear the joint down and start over."

Wait, this is the second food court claim. What the hell? Either these people were deceived and they accidentally went to a crappy mall, or somewhere in central Florida is a magical food court that resembles Epcot. I'm going to find it! Okay, one more...

"First: I am NOT a theme-park/ amusement park person."

Okay, I'm just going to jump in right here and say that whatever this person has to follow up that statement with makes the whole review null and void. Because I hate peanuts. And guess what? Every time I eat a peanut, I hate it. But I'm not going to write a review on peanuts! Oh well, let's see how the rest of their review goes...

 "However, I was in Orlando on business with my teenaged son, so we set aside July 4th to go to Epcot Center. The rides are hokey, everything is overpriced, and all so fake! I do not understand why folks don;t just save their money and go to the REAL Norway instead of the fake, plastic recreation. What little educational value there was to be had, we scraped for (ex.: The Chinese pavilion's display of the tomb of China's first emperor and the famous terra cotta warriors.) Note to the man from Ohio: This is a REPLICA; the real tomb is located in China's central province of Shaanxi. My son (a normal American teenager) kept up a brave face for most of the day, esp. knowing how much I had spent on admission tickets ($160) and cab fare ($40). In the end, he asked if we could please just leave and go back to the hotel pool. We did this, and ended up watching the fireworks from our hotel window, which was just fine. Take home msg: If you are an experienced traveler and like trips with nature, educational, historical or cultural value - do not go to the Orlando theme parks. It will make you worry for the future of our species."

I'm pretty sure most people seeking nature, educational, historical blah blah blah don't have theme parks in mind. People wanting theme parks have theme parks in mind. Somewhere between the decision making process and the head trauma, this person got all mixed up on where they wanted to go and why. 

So that's the TripAdvisor Game of Shame! Every now and then I'll do these with other Disney parks, because hey, it makes me laugh.