Monday, March 25, 2013

NOT a gem...

So on a bi-weekly basis I usually like to write about gems that you can find around Disneyland and Disney World parks. Gems are everywhere, yet nowhere. What the heck does that mean? Well, it means that unless you're looking for them, you usually won’t see them, unless they’re right out in the open, punching you in the face...metaphorically speaking of course. Sometimes, however, people confuse gems with things in the parks that just are not. Things like food. You can eat food. You can’t eat gems! At least, not without bouts of indigestion and the occasional bladder stone. Another example would probably be the golden spikes in the ground through out Disneyland: not gems. Those are survey markers, just like the ones in front of my house and every house.  This bit, as you would have guessed, is called NOT a gem, and the first on my list is none other than the Tree of Life at Disney’s Animal Kingdom.

Sweet glory and majesty rolled into one!
Such intricate work went into the trunk. Truly a masterpiece!
The Tree of Life is huge, and it was erected in the center of the park much like the castles are at both Disneyland and the Magic Kingdom. It's the center piece and a ton of Imagineering and hard work went into creating that magnificent tree with the animals all over it. It really is a sight to be seen, so why then is this not a gem? I’ll tell you why. Because the damn thing is falling apart! Gems stand the tests of time! They weather the storms, they are well kept, and probably the most important thing is that they DON’T FALL APART! That’s right, the Tree of Life has become the Tree of Death!

Wait...what the..
Ok, so no, it hasn’t killed anybody...yet! (Cue dramatic music.) However it did leave an emptiness in my heart seeing that pieces of this magnificent tree have been falling off, and Disney World's solution was to put trampolines over the queue of It's Tough to Be a Bug and the surrounding nature trails just so people don’t get knocked the eff out by a falling chunks of concrete. I feel that they've just lost their grasp on the parks at Disney World. Things are falling apart quite literally. Here's what you do: close down It's Tough to Be a Bug for a while. Trust me, people can live without that one for a few months, and fix the damn tree!


No! Stop! What are you doing to my view?!...



YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP!
DAMN YOU!
I wouldn't think that it would be a tough decision to say “Hey, we need to fix this thing because it’s awesome to look at”. Nope, Team Disney Orlando went in the total opposite direction and made the area, which was once majestic, look like some ramshackle thing you would see at a carnival! Not okay in my book, and thanks to Team Disney Orlando's laziness, this is NOT a gem. It very well could have been, but nope! I refuse! Gems don’t fall apart and break peoples heads open. I love the Animal Kingdom. It's by far my favorite park. But when things that used to be amazing start falling apart, it’s less than unexceptional. So in conclusion, and in my professional opinion, the Tree of Life is officially NOT a gem....could have been though. It was so close!