Friday, February 8, 2013

Ra-Pee-nzel.

Every now and then, Disney closes an attraction and leaves its empty facade in its place for future generations to stare at it and wonder "What is that? Why is that there? Can I pee in that?" Luckily, at the Magic Kingdom, Disney has answered the third question in that series.

Yes. Yes you can.

Kind of.

Magic Kingdom. Skyway. Fantasyland. Now but a memory.
This was the remnants of the Fantasyland station of the Skyride at the Magic Kingdom. In recent years, it had been used for stroller parking, shrubbery-growing, and the occasional goat sacrifice to appease the Central Floridian volcano gods. You laugh, but how many eruptions has there been in Orlando since the Magic Kingdom opened? You have Disney to thank for that. But I digress, and I do a damn fine job at it. This Skyway station is now gone. In its place, Disney is currently building...wait for it...



RESTROOMS! But not just any restrooms. Restrooms themed to Rapunzel's tower from the film Tangled. As of this writing, it looks like this:
Yep, the Skyway Station once sat right here.

What I don't get is this: the point of Rapunzel's tower is to be hidden away from the world so no one will find it. I'm not sure if this is the message you want to be sending out with restrooms. Especially with the demographic being sweaty tourists just looking for a place to pee. Sometimes that can be an emergency. Restrooms should be easy to find. I'm sure these will be easy to find, being right along the path between Small World and the Haunted Mansion, so now they're just sending mixed signals and I don't know what to think.

Speaking of the Haunted Mansion, I'm not sure what this tower does to the sight lines of the park from the Haunted Mansion. I haven't been there yet to see it myself, but I can only assume that from the queue of the eerie mansion, you'll be able to see this happy tower of fantasy and whimsy poking up over the hedge. That kind of kills the illusion. (And if you have seen this first hand and know that you can't see it from the Mansion queue, let us know in the comments.) 

A large benefit of this is that now while you are doing your bathroom business, you can lean over to the person next to you at the urinal and say, "Psst! I'm in a tangle here!" The reactions will be mixed, but hey, it's funny to me. That pun alone will be worth the price of admission.

On the plus side, it looks great. It matches the level of detail that the rest of the New Fantasyland expansion shows off, and that's always a plus. And until I see it for myself, I can only speculate if and how that will clash with the renaissance fair-style facade of the Small World right next to it. Will the ever popular It's a Small World ride be eclipsed by restrooms? I hope not. But rest assured, while paying tribute to or celebrating the demise of the Skyway, you can now safely pee on its original site and not be judged.