Sunday, January 6, 2013

What I Want in 2013: Animal Kingdom Edition

Just say no to AvatarLand.

I mean really, what are they thinking here?  Avatar is a visually stunning, yet crappy, weak movie.  Many people have said it: there are no memorable characters and it has no staying power.  Also, it is gross.  I'll get to that in a bit.  HEY!  Sit down and listen to this!  DON'T YOU WALK AWAY!  Did I mention that the story is a rip off?  It is.  Watch Fern Gully, same damn story.  Anyway, where was I?  Oh Yeah.
Can Disney make a Fern Gully Avatar based attraction and make it stunning?  Yes, yes they can.  But should they?  No.  And here comes the gross part.  Their tails are their damned genitalia.  Really.  If I am walking in the Animal Kingdom and one of these tall blue freak's tail touches me, I am gonna feel molested and be vocal about it. Take that James Cameron.   

*Editor's note: If these blue things can walk around the park with their junk out, then so can I.