Wednesday, January 2, 2013

How To Make Me Jealous: DISNEY EDITION!

     Sometimes the crafty minds at Disney will take a good idea and make it better. Sometimes they take a good idea and make it deplorable. I want to discuss one of the better ideas, and why it makes me cry at night in my sleep.
     Hong Kong Disneyland doesn't have a Frontierland, and I don't know why. But they make up for it with Grizzly Gulch, which is basically Frontierland and Critter Country rolled up into one big land of fun. And bears. Because bears are fun! They wrestle with you, eat marshmallows out of your mouth, steal your picnic baskets, and viciously attack innocent bystanders. Fun! Okay, Disney's bears don't do any of these things. But what the Disney bears actually do here in Grizzly Gulch is get into all sorts of lovable shenanigans and tomfoolery. And explosions, not just any explosions, explosions that make you scream "Who wants a mustache ride?" That's right. Look at this video from This is the ride that makes me jealous all day, and only because of how great it looks.
     I want this ride. I want this ride in either Walt Disney World or Disneyland. And this is where the tears come: I can't have it. It's too similar to anything at both of those resorts to ever get built at either of them. Basically, the Imagineers took the "oh no things have gone terribly wrong and now we're going all sorts of backwards and forwards" roller coaster from Expedition Everest in Animal Kingdom, slapped it into the awesome scenic hills of Grizzly Peak in California Adventure, added a sprinkling of Big Thunder Mountain railroad and BAM! You get Big Grizzly Mountain. Fun! Who wants to buy me a ticket to China?

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