Saturday, January 12, 2013

Have they even seen that video?

So there I was, sitting placidly on the couch getting ready to dip my hand into yet another Doritos-induced coma, when I suddenly find something that piqued my interest. As I sat there in front of my TV wondering what the hell I was going to watch, or when a meteor was going to come crashing through my window and crush me, I found a show about Walt Disney World on the Travel Channel. This show was called Secrets of Walt Disney World and I was curious.

So I did what any middle aged man would do who’s to lazy to just go to bed; I dipped my hand into my bag of chips and began watching this magical show about "the happiest place on Earth."  That statement confuses me. Disneyland claims to be the happiest place on Earth, yet so does Disney World…there can’t possibly be two happiest places on Earth, right? I mean, that would create a vortex the size of Texas that would implode the entire planet! Walt Disney wouldn't have been so cavalier. Upon watching the show, whomever made it obviously was selling lies.

Lies you say? Yes, lies. In the video, it shows Walt Disney World in pristine condition. The parks look amazing, and it seems as though all of the animatronics are working, especially the Yeti at the Animal Kingdom. NOPE!! Have they ever been to Disney World? The place is ran down! It looks like Honey Boo Boo and her family came and jumped on everything in every single park! I wouldn't say its trashed, but have you seen the siding on the buildings that is just “missing”? No Honey Boo Boo, that’s not a gingerbread house! Leave it alone and smack your momma in the mouth for me!

Last time I was at Disney World, things were falling apart, and from what I've heard, things haven’t improved much. The Disney Company has an identity to protect and that is to have the best theme parks in the world. Disneyland does this. They refurbish their rides on a yearly basis. Disney World however thinks that its okay to let their rides fall apart, and hopefully no one will notice. News flash: we notice! Its not very magical to go on It’s a Small World and see mold everywhere the water touches. I don’t get a happy feeling when I ride Splash Mountain and most of the animatronics are taking naps! C’mon Disney, you’re better than this, fix your stuff, and get that Disco Yeti fixed! That show on TV was a joke! Trying to lure innocent people to a place that’s falling apart! Photoshop is awesome though. You can even make Honey Boo Boo look somewhat like a human being with it, and that is magical!

Editor's note: I was going to put up pictures of Honey Boo Boo, but we wouldn't wish that on anyone.