Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Good Riddance, Skyway

Did you know that every five seconds, someone somewhere in the world tries to wish Disneyland's Skyway ride back into existence? Did you also know that you can make up facts and figures all willy-nilly on the internet and no one ever double checks your claim? Now you know! The Skyway was essentially a gondola/ski lift type ride in Disneyland that took you from Tomorrowland to Fantasyland, way up in the air. Something like this:
It opened in 1956 and closed in 1994.

Good. Let it die.

I'm not sure why people were a fan of this ride. I can think of a few reasons why they loved it:

1. They were masochists and enjoyed waiting in a line for a trip across two lands of the park that would take longer than actually walking the same route.

2. They enjoyed looking at the rooftops of all the buildings that Disney never bothered sprucing up in the first place. Nothing says "Magic" like industrial air conditioning units, tar paper, and pigeon poo!

3. They enjoyed spitting on people.

The best part of the ride (as seen in the picture above) was when your gondola went through the center of the mighty Matterhorn and you came face to face with the abominable snowman. But guess what? You can see this on another ride. It's called the Matterhorn!

There's another reason the Skyway curdles my milk. I live in Utah, and in Utah we have one crappy amusement park called Lagoon. It's essentially a traveling carnival that forgot to leave. But guess what they have? A frikkin' Skyway!
Lagoon's Skyride
Somewhere in the Disney theme park corporate office there should be a book called "How to Build a Successful Disney Theme Park." Chapter 1 would be titled "Don't build anything Lagoon has." That's really all I ask. Disney did the right thing by pulling down the cables of the Skyway. But it seems someone over at California Adventure skipped that first chapter when they built that park. I'm looking at you, Goofy's Sky School!
Goofy's Sky School at California Adventure

Lagoon's Wild Mouse
Ugh.