Thursday, January 17, 2013

Don't sit on that.....

Have you ever walked around a Disney park for a few hours and by the time you're ready to sit down it seems as though every bench in the park is occupied? Seriously, when you need to rest your feet for a few minutes, every person in the park had the same idea but three seconds before, and you were left standing there. Standing in front of a thousand people all sitting comfortably on a Disney bench looking at you and staring, silently laughing as you've failed to secure a bench to rest your weary feet. Where does one go in a situation like that? Where can you possibly sit for ten minutes on something that's not already occupied by a person that weighs 100 pounds more than you do? I'll tell you where! Tom Sawyer's Island, that's where!

Tom Sawyer's Island is a great place to go when the rest of the park benches seem uninhabitable, or so I thought. This particular story took place about nine years ago and I can remember it well for two reasons. One, it was hilarious, and two, it hurt. I was tired. I was tired of walking around and I was tired of trying to look for a bench, and I had to urinate. What? It's normal! You walk, you eat, you pee. So I walked a while, went over to the island of Tom and found a restroom. Upon relieving myself, I walked outside and looked for a place to sit while I waited for the rest of my party. In this particular nook of the island there were no benches, but there were some wooden crates set up by the restrooms that looked like they would be perfect.

Ah, the crates looked something like these. You know... like crates.

I looked around, there wasn't a cast member in site. My brother showed up and he was looking for a place to sit also! In the heat of the moment I decided to take my chances on the wooden crates. I promptly jumped up on the crate before my brother could and suddenly heard a horrific crack. No it wasn't my tail bone. It was the crate! As soon as I sat on top of it, I went right through it like Taco Bell running through your bowels. As quick as a flash, there I was, stuck in a wooden crate, my feet stuck up in the air, and my brother violently laughing! (Editor's note: I wasn't "violently laughing." I was doing far more than that! But I don't think there's a word to describe laughter of that magnitude. Okay, back to Tim.) After he caught his breath, he eventually helped me out. Word to the wise, it may look sturdy enough, but the wooden crates on Tom Sawyer's Island are the devil! Weaker than a nerd in a gym. Scratched my back up pretty good. Probably got a sliver or two. Next time you're looking for a place to rest your tired legs...don't sit on that.