Monday, December 30, 2013

Podcast Episode **50**!!!

We did it! 50 episodes! And you put up with us through all of it! This is a great episode. We get the van stuck somewhere festive, there's some news, some movie reviews, a bit of Doom Guy, a brief appearance of Swedish Chef, the long over-due return of the Segway... we pull out all the stops for this one! Okay, maybe just most of the stops. Either way. Well, enjoy it! You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Podcast Episode 49

Hi ho, Silver, awaaaaay! Okay, that has nothing to do with this episode. But you know what does? Submarines. And buses. And something about MyMagic+ at Animal Kingdom. Apparently there are changes. Right now. You're too late. And guess what, you guys? Tim the Food Bitch makes a glorious return! You will not be disappointed. And there may or may not be a Random Matt. Either way, this is a great episode that is not to be missed. So, you know... get on it. You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Podcast Episode 48

Hey Swabs, Josh here.  Jake usually does these things but his computer heard this episode and took the next train to a different galaxy.  These things happen I suppose.  Any how, here we are.  We talk and do stuff.  It's funny. You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Podcast Episode 47

This week we have some very special guests, all the way from Annie & Danny's Fastpass Podcast: Annie and Danny! And things get out of control! Who knew that having these cool cats in the same room as us would end up in such hilarious madness?! We cover a wide range of topics including Disney World's new lack of turnstiles, Dan's worst bus ride ever, some Frozen discussion, and so much more! Tune in, listen, and have as much fun as we did! Also, Canadian Tyson is back on the show! You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Friday, November 29, 2013

Podcast Episode 46

Hey, swabs! This week we have a glorious episode for you! The Mutineers finally tackle the subject of the new Fastpass+ tier system going on. Also, we have an epic and hilarious installment of Tim the Food Bitch, and two new segments to the show: Blood Behind the Ink and Random Matt! WHat are they about? Tune in to find out! Enjoy the show! You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Podcast Episode 45

Hey howdy hey! This week on Mickey Mutineers, we start things off with a slight bit of news about the new World of Color Winter Dreams show at California Adventure, Jake has another educational "Just the Tip" traveler tip for everyone, and then we dive into this week's main segment: Top 12 Things We Would Change on Rides! It's a wild frollick through fields of fun and laughter! Really, check it out. Then we round off the episode with the Listener List that we fished from Twitter. Enjoy the show! You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Podcast Episode 44

Oh boy. I'm not sure if you're ready for this episode. We're back to basics and better than ever! This week Josh gives us a trip report on his Disneyland trip from last week, we discuss some news coming out of Epcot, ,and some Star Wars news comes up as well! And then Tim gets really excited over the new churro offerings in Downtown Disney. And then a hardy round of the TripAdvisor Game of Shame, and as usual, we wrap it up nicely with some Listener Questions. So sit down, tune in, and try not to laugh. I bet you can't! You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Miniature Goodness

From time to time I enjoy sharing Disney-related videos I come across. Well, this is one of those times! I find myself coming back to these videos over and over. And over. And over again. And one more time for good fortune. They're just so uniquely done and short, so I love it! They're filmed from angles and camera speeds to make the parks look like miniatures from a kaiju film. Now I know that "kaiju film" isn't exactly what they were going for, but hey, don't we all need a little Godzilla in our lives? (That took a weird turn...) Here are the videos!

A Model Day at the Magic Kingdom

A Model Day at Epcot

A Model Day on Disney Cruise Lines

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Podcast Episode 43

We have a very special show for you this week, swabs! Josh records his part of the show from inside California Adventure! He talks about his trip so far, there's the usual banter, and then we pull off a Disney podcast first (as far as we know): Josh takes us on three rides with him! The results are either awesome or awful. You be the judge! (It might be a Disney podcast last also.) Either way, it's a great episode, and we hope you enjoy it! LET'S DO THIS! You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Podcast Episode 42

Happy Halloween and welcome to our annual Halloween Special! We're dressed up and ready to entertain you in this Halloween grab-bag of topics episode! Joined by Johnny Bravo, we discuss many things the Disney parks have to offer on this haunted holiday. And much like your local department store, Christmas keeps trying to sneak into this episode. Dammit, Christmas! You stay out! Anyways, grab your mask and pumpkin-carving knife, overdose on Milk Duds, and celebrate Halloween with the Mickey Mutineers! You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013


Podcast Episode 41

This week we discover what happens when Disney has a real slow news week and the Mickey Mutineers are left to their own devices. We do cover a brief bit of news about the new talking Mickey Mouse meet & greet, then we go off on wild tangents, talk about other Disney things, and introduce a new segment! A game! We play a game! And the results are exactly what you'd expect from us. As always, we wrap it up nicely with some listener questions. Enjoy the show, folks! You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Podcast Episode 40

And we're back! Back again! Thanks for putting up with us and now this week's episode! We cover some recent news of dining reservations, some minor puns, some audacious rumors surrounding Disneyland's Tomorrowland, and....oh no... the recent concept art for Avatar Land in Animal Kingdom. Then we package it all nice and pretty with some listener questions and pretend the whole thing never happened... So enjoy! You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Monday, October 14, 2013

A Special Requested TripAdvisor Game of Shame!

It's back! You know it! You love it! You want to cuddle awkwardly with it and maybe be the "big spoon" for once on the sofa. It's the TripAdvisor Game of Shame: Requested Edition! Again, if you don't know what the TripAdvisor Game of Shame is, it's where I (or in today's case, someone else) find a craptastictesticular review on TripAdvisor of a Disney property somewhere in the world and I make fun of them. That's it. Alright, moving on!

Today's specially requested review comes from the Pop Century Resort from a TripAdvisor user named Ceraphina! Here goes:

"Never Again"

 We stayed at the Pop Century for 5 nights (9/20/13 to 9/25/13). We then switched to the Coronado Springs for 5 nights. We had never stayed at the Pop and thought it would be a money saver. We are two adults with college age kids (not with us this time). The room, albeit tiny, was very cute and clean. No problems there. We asked for a quiet location and got a top floor in 50s bldg #3 overlooking the lake. Very quiet. The food court, however, was a nightmare. It was during the Disney Free Dining days and apparently every young family had descended upon the Pop for their stay. We were amazed at the number of parents that will take their kids out of school for a disney trip. Lots of teachers in my family and they all hate when parents have no regard for their child's education. It was too crowded and loud and took forever to get your food and get a spot to eat. What a nightmare. We only ate there a few times. The place is just basically a motel. No frills. The large icons are cute, but the savings were not worth it to us. There were always lots of people waiting in line for park busses. It was pretty hot wating as the lines area has no shade! Next trip we will just save more and get the deluxe resort (Contemporary, Wilderness or Animal Kingdom Lodge) that we would be much more comfortable and happy with. I guess, if you are a young family on a budget go for it. I would hate to have to squeeze a family of 4 or more in those tiny rooms. No wonder there were so many stressed out Moms and Dads with short tempers!

First of all, lady, taking your kids out of school for a Disney trip is doing your kid a huge favor. Basically if you don't, you hate children. You don't hate children, do you? Because it sure as hell sounds like you do! Education shmeducation. They'll learn more about life in a week at Disney World than they will behind a desk. And how dare all these other people wanting to nourish themselves with meals to stay alive at the same time you wanted to eat at the food court! Also, hey guess what, it's a frikkin' value resort. I'm not sure what your expectations were, but, you know... VALUE RESORT! Next time you should just stay at your deluxe resort. Or better yet, stay home. Because your attitude is stifling. Good day, sir! 


...er, ma'am. Whatever.

Hey, reader! Back to you. If you find a TripAdvisor review that you think should be featured here, let me know! I take requests! I'll cater to the masses. I'm hip and jive and fresh like that! 

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Podcast Episode 39

WE NOW RESUME OUR REGULAR BROADCASTING SCHEDULE. Welcome swabs and scalawags  This week we have an epic episode for you! Just the four of us, doing our thing. We catch up on some old news, Jake offers up a money-saving tip for the parks, and then we dive into the bulk of the episode: Top 12 Things You Probably Shouldn't Do in the Disney Parks! And we don't mean spinners and stuff, but rather...well, you'll just have to listen. If you know us, you know exactly what to expect! Sit down, eat your donuts, and brace yourselves: Hilarious is coming. You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Podcast Episode 38

It's a whole different show than usual this week, swabs! In this episode, we sit down with the author of Dark Side of Disney and Our Kingdom of Dust, Leonard Kinsey! He tells us all sorts of stories from his Disney underground and they are guaranteed to keep you entertained. In fact, we get so caught up in talking with him that we ran short on time and had to skip our news and go right into Listener Questions to wrap up the show. So sit back, relax, pour yourself a gin and tonic, and listen to this insanely entertaining episode. *WARNING: Stronger language and subject matter than usual. Make sure no kiddos are around.* You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Friday, September 27, 2013

All in All You're Just a-nother Jungle Cruise Wall

You know how I feel about the Jungle Cruise as it currently stands in the Magic Kingdom. (Brace yourself for shameless plug.) If you don't know, you can find out on this lovely piece I wrote last year. Anyway, apparently right now, everyone's favorite plastic animal cruise is undergoing a little refurb. And a possible rehab. (Gorillas love themselves some coke!) In place of the Jungle Cruise, a wall has been set up and being guarded and watched over by some clever skippers.

Now, I realize by now, most Disney fans have seen this video, but if you haven't, behold!

As usual, not my video. But it's on YouTube, so I will use that to my advantage. Anyway, how awesome is that? Something fresh finally comes to Magic Kingdom's Jungle Cruise and all it took was a wall. I say they can take their time on this refurb.

I'm happy with the wall. 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Podcast Episode 37

Thor, Dwarf Mine trains, guest assistant cards, and so many more things that we are not qualified in any way to talk about! But we do anyway! Because that's the madness that drives this crazy thing! Anyway, thanks for tuning in this week, and please, tell a friend about us. Mostly just so they can question your sanity. You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Blood Behind the Ink: Peter Pan is a Jerk.

Hey Swabs and Scalawags!  Phew, what a Hell of a last few months.  Now that things are slowing down, I am going to take some time to clack away at the ol' keys and make shit up.  Well, maybe not quite "make up."  I want to take some time to discuss the stories behind some of Disney's classics!  Even though many are children's stories, they weren't always the cute happy stories that the cartoons portrayed.  So as the title suggests, today we are looking at Pan the man, and he was a jerk.

Photo taken moments before Pan ate Tink.
I tend to base my view of Peter Pan on the fun loving Disney version.  He is likable for the most part.  (I mean, he did feed Captain Hook's hand to the damn crocodile, but still...)  Anyhow, we've all seen it, we all love it. But, did you know there is much more in the books?  Yeah.  It's much, much darker than the feature length cartoon shows.

"Come on, Wendy! Watch me massacre children!"


So on to Peter's dark side!  It's only hinted at in the J.M. Barrie books, but it's there.  Barrie says that Peter would "thin the Lost Boys" when they grew old or there was too many of them.  I don't know what that says to you readers out there, but to me it says he killed them.  Now I know some genocide on an imaginary island in the stars may be expected, but that's not all.  Apparently in battle, little Petey Pan would swap sides and start mowing down his own soldiers for the pure fun of it!  I see why Disney left those parts out.  But even in the Disney version he was a bit of a dick.  Banishes Tink, doesn't listen to anyone, slightly pompous.  Hey, he acts like Mice Chat!

Thats where I'm going to end this.  

Sunday, September 22, 2013

A Few Announcements and Additions

I promise, we're not dead! (That's how most articles on anything should start out.) Come to find out, summertime is a busy time for all of us here at Mickey Mutineers, and the regular blog posts become slim. However, summertime is over and blog posts should resume shortly, so please remain seated as your ride vehicle may suddenly begin to move.

Alright, next order of business. We have new discussion forums now! That's right, a place for you to go and mingle with us personally and all the other fans of the blog and/or podcast. We promise for it to be fun,informative, and hopefully just plain nuts! But not stuffy and pompous like some of those other Disney-related discussion forums! We won't stand for that! So, please, at the top of this page, just click the "Forums" tab, register, and let's have some fun! A small group of us have already started, so just jump in and join the party!

Oh, did you notice that other little tab up there? The one that says "Store?" Hey, that goes to our new store! Have you always wanted to proudly display your Mickey Mutineers devotion? No? Oh..well this is awkward... Well, in case you ever do, go to our store! We will be adding new items and merchandise as time goes on. If there's a particular style of anything you want, let us know! We'll put it together and throw it up on the store. All purchases help support the madness we create here, whether it be the blog or podcast. And speaking of which...

If you haven't heard our latest podcast episode with Safari Mike, check it out! It's so good! Look, the post is right below this one. You can't miss it. Give it a listen.

That's pretty much it for announcements. Join in our forums, check out our store, listen to our episode with Safari Mike. If Mickey Mutineers merch isn't your jam, please continue to click through our Amazon banner up there and do your normal Amazon shopping. And thank you, the listener or reader, for sticking with us this far! You're the reason we do it, and we hope we can make you laugh and/or shake your head in disgust for a long time to come!

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Podcast Episode 36 w/ Safari Mike

We have a very special episode for you this week, friends! All the way from the Radio Harambe podcast, Safari Mike joins the Mutineers for an hour of just sheer madness. Planes on Soarin? We tackle it. History lesson regarding Kali River Rapids? It's here! The secret of Matt's Beard of Power? Exposed! And Safari Mike shares with us his My Disney Experience experience, and keep in mind that when he tells his tale, billions of dollars were spend on this system. So sit back, plug in, and listen to one of the greatest episodes we've ever recorded! You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Podcast Episode 35

This week, as usual we go over some random news throughout the Disney parks, including princess meet and greets, Glow with the Show, and more! Josh tries a new segment that just crashes and burns in the fires of hilarity. Everyone comes out a winner there. And then, the mildly popular TripAdvisor Game of Shame: Podcast Edition! Then we round things off with Listener Questions. Oh, and Tyson is our awesome guest. Enjoy! You can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Podcast Episode 34

Hey, here's this week's new episode! You should know what kind of madness to expect by now. Does anyone even read this? WE'RE MERRILY MERRILY MERRILY MERRILY MERRILY ON OUR WAY TO NOWHERE IN PARTICULAR! Yeah, we cover some more stuff this week. New albums, personal park stories, other park stuff. BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!...there always is. Hey! Listen!  Remember, you can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Podcast Episode 33

I don't know if you can handle this episode! It is so far out of hand! Oh well, you should try it anyway. We start off with some news around the parks. Something is in the waters of Animal Kingdom. Asgard is waging war on Disneyland! And more! But then, we have a Top 12 list to top all Top 12 lists! Just know it is awesome. What are we topping? Tune in to find out! Then we wrap things up with hearty round of Listener Questions, complete with theme song this time! I'm excited! You should be, too! DO IT.  Remember, you can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

I'm An Enabler

Cold sweats. Heart palpitations. Difficulty breathing. Nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea. Sometimes even hallucinations! That's right, the symptoms of withdrawal. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Sometimes it's just too long between trips to the parks of Disney! I currently find myself in the middle of this right now. But I have come across a few things that help ease the pain and stop the shakes. No, this isn't rehab. Actually, this might even make it worse! But if you're anything like me and find yourself longing yet unable to get to Disney, sit your butt down right there! Because here are the popular Disney videos you would usually find on Travel Channel, fully updated for 2013!

Let's start with the Disneyland Resort:

Yeah! You feel those symptoms slowing down yet? It's all in there! New California Adventure, Star Tours, and more! Mmmm... 

What? It's not Disneyland you find yourself missing? Fine. Here's the Ultimate Walt Disney World video!


Hell to the yes! Test Track! New Fantasyland! Even more of more! (What? That doesn't even make sense!)

So there you have it. Small tastes to ease the slings and arrows of your withdrawal. Remember, the first one is always free.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Podcast Episode 32

Hey! This week we discuss all sorts of news! From Indiana Jones in Disneyland to Animal Kingdom and beyond! News news news news. And derailed subjects. And tangents. And a certain coffee chain taking over the world! Grab your donuts and strap in for this one, because it's awesome AND hilarious! Don't forget to tell a friend! Remember, you can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Podcast Episode 31

Hey look! Another episode!... we're sorry. Anyway, this week, we summarize the big D23 convention from the perspective of those of us who were not lucky enough to attend and had to keep track of the whole damn thing from a computer screen. And we do a great job of summarizing it in typical Mickey Mutineers fashion. And then crap flies off the rails and things get out of hand. So, enjoy it! Or at least do your best to enjoy it. And lie to us when you hate it.  Remember, you can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Podcast Episode 30

Back again with another slam-bang punchtastic episode cooked up hot and fresh just for you and your ears! This week, we breeze through some rumors and news from Walt Disney World, and then we dive right in to the meat and potatoes of the episode: this week we're bringing you our top 12 Disney Dislikes. Oh, it's not the typical whining and complaining you find on the internet. It's funny and builds character! And then we wrap it up with the Listener Top Disney Dislikes! We run a little longer this episode, which, could either be good or torture! Yay! Sit back, relax, turn us on, and ruin your day! Remember, you can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Friday, August 2, 2013

The One Where I Write About Dinoland U.S.A.

Okay, I'm going to take a stand here. There is a particular land in Animal Kingdom that fans young and old alike almost universally hate and despise. They claim it was built on the cheap, it's a shameless cash grab, and that it goes against Uncle Walt's values. Well, all of these might be true, but hot damn! I love me some Dinoland USA! Yeah, I said it. Let's dive into this highly misunderstood land!



When the people make claims that this is a cheap, awful land, I don't think they're looking hard enough. It seems most people are just focusing on the carnival-style Chester & Hester's Dino-Rama section of this land. Yeah it looks like a tacky roadside tourist trap, but that's exactly what they were going for! Look at the tall brontosaurus, and then look at the dinosaurs in Cabazon, California. You can see what Disney was going for here. Here's a place you can come see tacky kitsch without the worry of being stabbed by a junkie with a rusty screwdriver. Everyone wins!
Here's a brontosaurus at Animal Kingdom...
...and the grumpy-looking, track mark-pocked inspiration,
found in California. I feel safer in Animal Kingdom.

But there's so much more to this land than the carnival area. Let's back up a bit and start from the entrance. First of all, there's the Boneyard. All I'll say here is that this is a great playground. Dig for dinosaur bones? Check! Slides? Check! Caves and tunnels? Check! Hell, I played on this thing before I even had kids! It's a really fun diversion for the young and the old. Now let's move on real quick before you judge me for playing on a playground meant for kids.

You want some CHEESE with your meal?! YOU GOT IT!
Just past the Boneyard, you find the Restaurantosaurus! This is your typical Disney theme park food fare, but look around! There's a story here! This is no ordinary restaurant. This is where the students and crew from the Dino Institute (the museum housing the Dinosaur ride. Sit tight, you'll see.) work, live, research, and apparently cook up some grub for the theme park visitor. A surprising amount of thought went into this place.
Dinosaur! *fanfare*


The museum inside. Complete with
the Science Guy.
Next is the ride Dinosaur! If anything in this land screams "cheap," this is definitely not it. This ride is scary, intense, and technomologically extreme! So much so that I make up words to describe it. The outside of this ride has a nice nature walk with plants, dinosaur statues, and shade! You'll appreciate that on the hot days. The building itself is the Dino Institute. (See! That does make sense from the last paragraph!) It looks like a museum on the outside, and when you go in, it still looks like a museum! Because it's supposed to be a museum! Theme nailed. You're not going to top that. Oh, wait. It can be topped. The disembodied voice you hear is freakin' Bill Nye! The ride itself is full of goodness. Oh, you want to travel back in time and have multiple brushes with death, be chased by a carnotaurus, and narrowly avoid the asteroid impact that killed most life on the planet? This is the ride for you! I almost piss myself every time. What? You're sure judging me a lot on this post...
This is where they need to hand out spare pants.














That's some good theme splattered around.
Beyond Dinosaur is...a gift shop! But probably one of the coolest gift shops you'll see on your trip, and one of the very few I even give a crap about. This gift shop is the staple of Dinoland! You see, this was once a gas station owned by Chester and Hester, and once the Dino Institute moved in next door, these podunk back-roads hillbillies wanted to cash in on the recent popularity of the Dino Institute. You see, they're the ones that built the road side carnival. But hold on, this is about the gas station, which they turned into a dinosaur and fossil gift shop! Much like the Restarauntosaurus, go inside! Take a look around! There's so much in here to look at!

The rest of this land is the part that people really seem to hate. Because it's a carnival. But guys, come on, at least it's a clean carnival! No one smells like cabbage here! We're all good! And there's a great spinning wild mouse-style roller coaster called Primeval Whirl. And I use "great" loosely. Although extremely fun, I always get off this thing feeling like my ribs have been assaulted. That being said, it's never enough to drive me away. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment, I dunno. 
A heaping spoonful of pain and excitement!

One of the best aspects of this carnival area is that Disney actually went all out to make it feel like a carnival! It comes complete with creepy-as-all-hell shady walk-around dinosaur characters! I don't know who they are (and I'm open to answers if you know) but there's something about them that's just great. It fits the theme! Seriously, Disney went the extra mile on this crap!
It scares me but I like it!

Now I must end on a sour note. The rest of the land is grifter carnival games and a frikkin' spinner. I have no use for carnival games, but someone deemed them to be crucial for the land. Whatever, I can walk past them. What I don't like is the TriceraTop Spin. Why? Because it's a spinner! Why do we need another spinner? There are more spinners in Disney World than there are parks! It just irritates me because Disney could have chosen from any number of happy-go-pukey carnival rides. I would've loved a kitschy dinosaur-themed Tilt-a-Whirl. But no, a spinning toy of sadness and despair. I don't like it and I won't stand for it. 
Gross.


So there you have it. My thoughts and feelings on Dinoland U.S.A! Yeah it's a tacky theme, but boy-howdy, the Imagineers really dove deep into this theme. And as much emotional response as it warrants, I'd say they did a pretty damn good job.













Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Podcast Episode 29

Hey everybody! This week we have things and stuff! Josh brings up some rumors about Imagination Pavilion, something about a parking lot at Hollywood Studios, and randomizatingerizing the new Soarin' videos! Jake and Matt double team a Lone Ranger review. Some stuff about the new Haunted Mansion movie. Oh! Oh! We play the TripAdvisor Game of Shame! That's something popular! Yay us! And as always, there's a bunch of other stuff in here too. Lots of giggling. Okay, enjoy the show e'rybody!  Remember, you can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Podcast Episode 28

Hey here's a podcast episode! This week we cover all sorts of topics! Feral cats in Disneyland? Check! Political correctness in the parks? It's here! Dickhead hyenas? We got 'em!! There's also a lot of talk this week of rides that are no longer with us. There's even more talk of rides that ARE with us! And some movie talk. Rampant pop culture references. Just.. yes. It's a good episode that you should definitely tell your friends about! Let's do this! Remember, you can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Podcast Episode 27

Hey we found Josh! And then lost our minds. As usual! This week, we talk about the upgrades coming to Soarin', Star Wars rumors for Disneyland, some movie stuff, Tim brings up macaroons, and we try to introduce a new segment: Unbuilt Disney, which is exactly what it sounds like. So buckle up, butter up, and get ready for one heck of a ride, because this is...a podcast! Remember, you can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free high fives for anyone that does!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

TARZAN!!!...and Other Mini-Adventures From One Trip

Hey Mutineers!

Gross.
Grab some Fruity Pebbles, waffles, eggs, bacon, or whatever you have for breakfast, and prepare to read one of my many personal stories from one of my trips to the land that is Disney! This story happened 11 years ago when my mom, dad, and brothers went to Disneyland for two days and Jake and I had a large time! It was a time full of shenanigans, 12th graders, and a Tarzan experience which may or may not have left the Tarzan actor scarred for life. So, let’s get down to the nitty gritty, shall we?

So as I said, this happened 11 years ago. California Adventure wasn't very adventurous, and the Maliboomer still stood at 180 feet, and the puke shields made us both laugh. By the way, those weren't puke shields…they just kept the scream levels to a minimum. Jake and I decided to ditch our brother Josh, due to the fact that his future ex-wife was as annoying as a never ending car alarm, and twice as stupid. So we ventured out, we two, to explore the land that is Disney for the umpteenth time.

What really struck me on that trip was, no matter how old you get (I was 20 at the time) Disneyland still possessed that same magical feeling. That right there was something worth noting. You don’t have to be a kid to enjoy Disney! Jake and I did the usual: tried to hit all of the rides as fast as we could. It was working great! We did California Adventure in just two hours, but remember, there was only like four rides there at the time… Things were going great, the day was flying by. By noon we were already in Disneyland. We had some corn dogs, churros, and of course, the Dole Whip Floats. The day was epic, and we were bloated. We strolled over to Indiana Jones and got in line. Whilst we were in line, there were a few semi-good-looking girls looking at us. Okay, me. Maybe Jake. No, it was definitely me. We ignored them…okay, Jake ignored them. I'm pretty sure he thought girls still had cooties. I may have shot them a smile, but that was it. We continued our day.

This is where free pizza happens.
Meanwhile, that night at the Paradise Pier Hotel, Jake and I were wondering the halls when we heard “It’s the two guys from the park!” We turned around and those same girls happened to be staying at the same resort as us. They invited us up for pizza, and of course, you don’t say "no" to free pizza. So we did what any gentleman would do in that situation. We went upstairs, confirmed that the girls and all of their friends were retarded, and ate ALL of their pizza, wiped our chins with wet-naps, and left. We were in and out in less than 15 minutes, bellies full with free delectable pizza!

The next day my brother and I were at it again. The sun came up, we had some good eats for breakfast, and then hit the parks again! Things were going great, we hit all of the same rides, and then, while we were at Disneyland, a parade decided to break out right out of nowhere! We were currently residing in the Land of Fantasy, and I wanted to go on Alice in Wonderland, which is a Disney Gem all in itself. While we were enjoying our ride, we could hear the parade going by, and then when we burst through the doors of the ride, on top of the cement leaves and bridge, the site that we saw was nothing less than epic. Right in front of us, at eye level, was Tarzan, riding on a huge fake elephant, and I lost it.

Real easy to creep this guy out...
“TARZAN!....HEY TARZAN!” He didn't look yet. So I kept yelling at the top of my lungs, then finally, he looked up, our eyes met, and Jake and I just smiled and waved. We waved frantically. Tarzan gave us an awkward smirk, and an even more awkward wave, and we laughed like two kids who just watched their first Loony Toons cartoon! Tarzan was flabbergasted. Why were these two guys yelling at him? I myself still don’t know why I did it, but I do know that it was funny. That experience alone has given my brother and me tons of hardy laughter over the years. I would just like to say thank you Tarzan, for being on a fake elephant, and waving awkwardly at two guys side by side on a caterpillar. Disney memories are fantastic!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Podcast Episode 26

Much like the Spanish Inquisition, you never see this episode coming! Buckle up, kiddos! This week's a good'n! We discuss the new RFID mugs at Disney World, Tim gives a trip report on a crappy amusement park he went to, and then we start talking about "that guy." Nobody like "that guy." And everyone knows "that guy." From there we bring up the awesomeness that is the new Mickey Mouse shorts that Disney has been rolling out, and then it's onto a very popular blog series that got turned into a podcast segment...The TripAdvisor Game of Shame! So hold on to them hats and glasses, because this here's the somethin' somethin' somethin' somethin'.....meow. Remember, you can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free air guitars for anyone that does.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Magical Recipe Goodness


I would like to introduce to you a very fabulous website if you're ever sitting at home thinking "Golly gosh gee whiz, I wish I had a Dole Whip Float." Well, now you've got it!... or at least something that resembles it.
                  
                   http://www.magicalrecipes.net/
It's a treasure trove.


They've got Beignets! 
And of course, these little beauties...

And just in case you can't go to bed without a massively huge, possibly food poisoned, juicy and half burnt TURKEY LEG... They've got 'em, people!


One I'd like to try:

And one I never knew existed! 

Now go home and make your kids a Mickey Waffle, dammit! Because their recipe has got to be much better than your own...at $12 a pop, we're hoping so. Of course, unless you have a Mickey waffle iron or can blow waffles like glass, you're going to just have to call them "dumb ol' plain waffles."


Well now I'm hungry. I better go before I start gnawing on my arm.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Making Memories!

Hey guys!

Holy Hell, it's been a while since my last post! I hate it when life gets in the way! Today, I had to shove life through the wall just to get it out of my face. I feel great, but life is pissed now! That being said, I don't know if any of you have noticed, but summer is in full swing now and it's time to get your families packed up and create some memories. They could be good or bad, I don't care, just start making some memorable ones. For those of you that know me, I never recommend going to the parks during summer, but you know what, if its the only time for you and yours to go enjoy Disney, so be it. You're going to the happiest place in the world, so here are a few excellent summer tips to take with you to the parks to make those memories, and not freak out and get heat stroke while your doing it.

Remember: Hydration is key!
First off, go and buy a few Camel Back packs, and fill those suckers up with water. Hydration is the key here, you don't want to dehydrate and then turn into a whiny little bitch...BOOM! Yeah, I said it. If you're in the parks, you'll see it. You'll see people just completely lose it, start screaming at their spouses, kids, characters, whoever's around really. Hydrate yourself and be prepared to be in the sun and heat!


Sunscreen is also very important.
The next thing you'll need is some sun screen, and good snacks. Throw all of this in your pack and get ready to have a good time. You're not going to just walk onto the rides during the summer, but I've been told that the lines really aren't that bad. Get your head in the right mindset, and go enjoy yourself and your family. I have so many amazing memories at the Disney parks, good and bad. Trust me when I say that I know how to make bad memories for everyone in my family, even when I was little. The thing that changed for me was when I started going with my own family, my wonderful wife, who's wise beyond her years, pulled me aside one trip and whispered some wisdom in my ears. "We are here for the kids...stop trying to rush everywhere, chill out, and relax!" "SMACK!!" Right in the face! Okay, the smack didn't happen, but the verbal smack did. After I realized that I didn't have to "rush" to every ride in the park, I actually started to enjoy myself.
Certainty of death. Small chance of success. Well, what are
we waiting for? We can handle these crowds!

Not only did I start to enjoy myself, my kiddos and wife had a way better time as well! Sure it was packed, but when you're there taking in the history and nostalgia of Disney, the crowds stopped bothering me so much. Take advantage of that wisdom, and if you do find yourself getting grumpy, go grab a Snickers and stop being a hoser, eh! Disneyland really is an amazing place to be even in the summer time, and when you're prepared to face crowds, have water, sunscreen, and snacks, you're ready to take on the day and be victorious! Enjoy the parks,relax, and don't be that guy....




Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Podcast Episode 25

Good day, sir or ma'am! We've got things for you this week! Oh we've got things! We've got more things than you can shake a stick at! This week, we update you on the rumors going on at Hollywood Studios since that park seems to be the focus these days. Also, Tim talks about the Lone Ranger premier at California Adventure, Jake brings up an independent movie filmed in the DIsney parks without permission, some listener questions, and cake. That's right. Cake. So enjoy the episode, and thank you for telling a friend about us! Remember, you can listen on the player there on the right, unless you're on the mobile page! In that case, CLICK HERE, listen through iTunes, or use your favorite podcast app on your smartphone! If you use iTunes, please, rate and review us! Free air guitars for anyone that does.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

New Mickey Mouse Shorts!

Oh boy! Have you seen the new Mickey Mouse shorts Disney has been putting out? I was skeptical at first with the new animation style, but holy crap. I am sold on these videos! Mickey Mouse going back to his mischievous roots! And they're hilarious! Look at naked Mickey here in No Service:


Want more?? Harold the Yeti makes an awesome appearance here in Yodelberg!

There are two others: New York Weenie and Croissant De Triumphe! But you'll have to hunt those down yourself. It builds character and a strong sense of satisfaction! Enjoy the videos!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Podcast Episode 24

I need to preface this episode: We suffered through some serious technical difficulties, and this episode is the 4th take we actually did, so this was the 4th time we talked through everything that night, in case you're wondering why we sound like we've talked about all this stuff four times. Because we did. And then it explains why we're so willing to go off the rails and off the cliff so much, but hey! Our listeners seem to like that! Things we discuss this week are Starbucks in the Magic Kingdom, Monsters University, Lone Ranger, Magic Bands (oh geez..), and some listener questions! This episode is chaos, in the best way! Enjoy it and tell a friend, especially if you don't care for them! Remember, listen on that player on the right, or on iTunes, Stitcher, your favorite podcast app, or just CLICK HERE to go directly to the download page!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

We're Not Dead

Hey swabs, scallywags, and plunderers alike! You may have noticed there hasn't been much activity here on the blog for a couple weeks. Well, besides the weekly podcast episodes. I'm here to tell you, we're all alive and well! And cooking up some new posts. It's just life kicked us all in the butts at around the same. Nothing bad. We've all just been busy. So keep checking back! Especially for Episode 24 tomorrow! More content to come. Sail on, mutineers!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Podcast Episode 23

Are you ready for this week's episode? I don't think you are! Buckle up, because we've got...an episode. This week, we talk about the recent rumors of the awesome things coming to Hollywood Studios, Tim tries to suck up to Disney World, Jake may or may not mention the Disney movies coming out this summer, and we round it off with some listener questions, which is always a hoot! Also, the show ends very well and smoothly... *cough* Anyway, enjoy! Listen on that player on the right of this page or CLICK HERE if you're on the mobile site and wish to listen!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Podcast Episode 22

Welcome back to another episode! This week, there's a brief encounter with a hitchhiker, we discuss the recent Disney ticket price increases, some awesome video game news straight from E3, and HUGE news from Epcot! You just won't believe it! Then Jake figures out what to do with our Facebook page, and we pretend to answer some listener questions! Listen right now on that player on the right side of this page, unless you're on the mobile site, in which you're completely hosed. Nah, just kidding! In that case, CLICK HERE to listen! Or subscribe on iTunes. Or Stitcher. Enjoy, tell a friend, rate us on iTunes! Make big money at home! Sharpen saws! And earn extra cash.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The TripAdvisor Game of Shame: Animal Kingdom Edition!


Back by unpopular demand, another edition of the TripAdvisor Game of Shame! Oh, you're not familiar with this game? Feel free to go back to the first one to see how it works. Or if you're like me and are too lazy to go back and read that, I'll quickly summarize it here: I find the "Terrible" reviews of a Disney park on the TripAdvisor website, post them here, grammar mistakes and all, and then make fun of them. Now, I know what you're thinking: Jake, that's not a game at all! Yes it is. Because there are winners: me and you. Because we get to laugh at this. Alright, all caught up? This time around, we're shaming the people who just hated Animal Kingdom. Because Animal Kingdom is great, and anyone hating it needs to feel ashamed. Let's go!

"Very little to do in the park and very hard to navigate. The animal walks looked like they would be good however they again were very short with the animals hiding from the sun. Only a few rides worth going on with massive queues, even if you had a fast pass. Overgrown bushes and trees with filthy toilets, would not consider going back."

Hard to navigate? Hard to navigate?! Apparently simple circles are just too much for this person to handle, because just like every other Disney park, Animal Kingdom still follows the hub-and-spoke layout. Also, after all the times I've been to Animal Kingdom, I have never ever seen any trees with filthy toilets. I can only assume this dude was pissing in the trees and bushes. Moving on.

"this place is not worth your money.....musics are too loud.....try to order food at one fast food place....music so loud could had to scream our order....looks run down....area for children..old...games too costly.....more walking than anything"

Damn these musics! Just rogue musics running rampant through the parks! But seriously, I can't even think of a single place within Animal Kingdom with high decibel music playing. I particularly like the "Looks run down" comment. Why can't these ancient Asian ruins look brand new?! I'm pretty sure "run down" is part of the theme the park is going for. Oh well. Let's see what's next!

"Mt. Everest roller coaster and the Safari jeep ride were our favorites.The parade was really cute with all the caracters."

I...wait...what? Why did you only give it a "one circle" rating, then? This is seriously the whole review, and I can only assume they had the best worst time ever while enjoying the hell out of their misery! Mixed messages up the butt with this one!

"Not enough animals to be considered a zoo and and only good for shopping if you want the usual Disney outfits.
What is it trying to be"

Okay, this one I can almost understand. A lot of people think this is a zoo, and Disney has even tried to shed that image. What is it trying to be? It's a Disney theme park with animals. It's in the name. It's pretty simple. The part that is new to me is that this person may have also confused the park with a retail center of some sort. Who goes to Animal Kingdom to shop?

"...The zoo itself is a poor colleciton of a few unhappy animals. A traveler would be better to save his 14.00 parking fee and 89.00 per person entrance fee and stay at a first class resort with better service and amenities and then if inclined visit a world class neighboring zoo such as San Diego's. Disney has no business keeping animals and should close this in humane and poorly run amusement."

It's not a zoo! Dammit, people! And how did this person get close enough to the animals to ask them their thoughts and how they're feeling? Is it because the animals are laying down a lot? Is that why people think they're unhappy? Newsflash: animals lay down a lot. And last time I was at the San Diego Zoo, I saw elephants in a hard concrete pen and a panda poo all over itself. World class!

"Taking my sister to this park on a visit from our Home Country I was disappointed with the length of queues due to the fastpass queues. We had to wait nearly 50 minutes for the River Rapids ride whilst for every 6 people from our queue went in all of the fastpass lane went in next, sometimes up to 30 people. 

I was very annoyed at this, yes I could have got a fastpass myself but doesn't that just make it so I would be one of the 20 to every 6 waiting over 30 minutes?"

Well... well yeah. That's the Fastpass system! There's no moral high road here! It's available to everyone! I don't.... I just... uggghhh.

"Very disappointed as the poor animals were obviously too hot and just lay on the floor panting. I lasted 1 hour before I left as it was too upsetting. It appeared as though animal welfare was secondary to financial gain. If you love animals like me then stau well clear. I complained but they were not interested."

What part of the world are these animals being ripped out of their air conditioned homes? Please, point it out on a map for me! Almost every animal at the park comes from a climate that is equally as hot or even hotter than the central Florida weather they're currently living in. I also like to imagine that with that last line, the guy was complaining to the animals but the animals weren't interested. Because giraffes don't understand financial gain. Okay, let's do one more...

"Have to say this is the worst theme park we have ever visited. Where are the animals in "Animal Kingdom" we spent an entire afternoon in the park and only saw a monkey sitting in a tree...."

I'm just going to stop you right there. Did you even try?? Only a monkey sitting in a tree? Did you run through the Oasis with your eyes closed? Did you circle around through Africa and Asia with your elbows flailing like a whirling dervish, refusing to take a glance around at all the possibilities of animal sightings in your immediate vicinity at all times? Did no one tell you about the safari ride?! Why did you even come to this park?! GET OUT! OUT WITH YOU! We don't want your kind here! Good day, sir!

And that's the TripAdvisor Game of Shame! Stay tunes for future..episodes? Listings? Whatever you want to call them...

Monday, June 10, 2013

Disney on the cheap

Obviously we love going to Disney parks. If we didn't, I wouldn't be writing this and you wouldn't be reading this. But shit, it gets expensive fast. So what ways do I combat this? Well, that depends on what coast I am on. I'm going to try not to drag this opening statement out too much, so lets get moving, shall we?

Disneyland

Disneyland is actually pretty damn easy to combat prices. It's in an urban environment with a whole lot of other businesses around. So let's start at the first part of a vacation: a place to lay your head. Although it is fairly common to see people camping on bus benches and whatnot on SoCal, I would not recommend this. You could wake with a helluva pain in your neck and a new homeless friend.

This is right outside the gates of Disneyland.
Take your pick of  slumbering and dining establishments.
I would recommend staying in an off property hotel. Don't get me wrong, I love staying at Disney hotels, but damn. Getting gouged so they can gouge me more seems redundant. Stay off property. For the most part the hotels get cheaper the further you get from the main gate. But don't go too far, you could be sharing a hotel room with your new homeless friend. Jake previously made a great post about hotels within walking distance to the parks that might help.

This holds water. Or Captain Morgan. Whatever
you need to survive the crowds.
Eats! We must eat!  Hell, I'm eating at this very moment (that's a straight up lie, I'm typing at this very moment.) I believe I have covered this at Disneyland already, but I'll recap. Eat outside the park, it's easy. There are a shit tons of restaurants right outside of the gates. Grab a cheap bite for breakfast on your walk to the park. I've even left the park for lunch, because, well $5 at McD's or $15 for a similar fast food experience.  If you are eating in the park and there is more than one in your party, the sit down restaurants will split the meal for a small up-charge.  It's worth it.

Drinking is as important as eating.  Do it, for some reason people get mad dehydration if they don't.  That isn't so much fun.  Bring a camel pack.  Buy water at any convenience store and insert into camel pack, throw bottle in any proper receptacle and live another day!

Walt Disney World

Disney World is a little more difficult to survive on the cheap.  I try my damnedest when I go, but holy hell.  Well, lets dive into this.  Rooms, it's been said before, I'll say it again.  Stay ON property. That's right! It's roughly the same price, it's convenient, and there are good amenities.  Off property can be a bit cheaper, but you need a vehicle, gotta pay for parking, and you may not get a cool mug that is refillable in your resort.

Look at that. Split two meals between two adults and
two kids and you're only averaging $20 or so. The portions
are big!
Food! Ah Disney World food!!! (Wipes drool) It's yummy!  And it can get pricey.  The issue is that you can't just jam out the door go to get a McRib, so what do you do to save money?  Well, the dining plan used to be a great value as part of a package and still can be if you happen upon the free dining deals.  Now, it's just a value and a convenience. If you are going minus a dining plan (and not going stag), you can still save money, but you must use forethought. Again, share meals.  It is a little bit easier to do here than at Disneyland. Some of the quick-serve joints have large portions that are way easy to split.  One thing that my wife and I did when my older kids where a bit younger was go to the Mexico pavilion and split a meal each with one of the kids.  It worked well, filled us all adequately, and I didn't have to pawn a child to feed the rest of us. Also, EPCOT has free drinks! I have had a spotter and filled up bottles of my favorite beverages at Club Cool. Side note: if you get caught filling a liter bottle of Beverly they won't say anything, except maybe "weirdo".
Club Cool at Epcot. I've never seen a sign telling me not to
fill my own bottle. And no one has ever stopped me.
But let's stay hush-hush about this.
Avoid this particular fountain at the Magic Kingdom.
It seems to be the "tinniest" of the tin-flavored water.

Speaking of beverages, how does one stay hydrated on the cheap?  Again, camel packs come in handy. Bottled water is just as bloody expensive as soda is in the parks, so bring your water in.  Last time we stayed for a week as a vacation we did rent a car for one day so we could go to Margaritaville and we went to a super market and bought a few gallons of H2O.  I have also went to Downtown Disney, hiked across the street to the Hess Station (one of my favorite gas stations) and bought water cheaper than sold in the resorts.  If it gets to it, you can fill it for free in your hotel sink, but for some reason a lot of the water in the park tastes "tinny" to me.  Oh! The one fountain I have found that lacks the "tinny" flavor is in EPCOT, at the American pavilion.  Fill up there.  It's free.

There are more ways to save on dough that can be hit on later, but all this food and drink talk has made me hungry and thirsty. And kind of sweaty.