Friday, December 28, 2012

I'm Bored So I'm Going to Make the Magic Kingdom Bigger

     I've been sitting at my computer staring at Google Earth over Disney World, drunk on jerky and eyes glazed over from a lack of blinking, and it hit me: gas. After a quick bathroom break, I had an epiphany! I can make the Magic Kingdom bigger! Is there a demand for it? No. Do we need it? Not really. Do I care? Not even a little bit. So here's what I would do:
An expertly drawn expansion
     If you've ever been to the Magic Kingdom, you know that the Big Thunder Mountain/Splash Mountain area is a murderous dead end. Two of the most popular E-ticket rides sit side-by-side and is an area that is difficult to get to, and mind numbing to get out of. Behind Splash Mountain to the west is a number of maintenance shops, parade storage buildings, and speakeasies. (And you though the Magic Kingdom was a dry park...) Beyond those buildings is a canal where they park the Electrical Water Pageant boats. (If you don't know what the Electrical Water Pageant is, it's something you don't seek out. You just happen upon it and say "Huh. That's neat.")
     My plan, as you can clearly see from the picture, is to simply cut and paste all the backstage buildings to the other side of the canal. Then that leaves a whole bunch of room around the back side of Splash Mountain for either another land, a Frontierland expansion, or some orange splotches. I went with the orange splotches, but I'm no Imagineer. And we're going to need those Imagineers, too, to put up some awesome fake scenery to cover the show buildings for Splash. There's also a drawbridge for the parade to cross the canal and the Water Pageant to get out in the evenings.
     The end result is a way to get rid the of soul-crushing dead end that currently stands in Frontierland, because there will be access all the way around Splash Mountain, and Disney can throw some more rides, restaurants, meet and greets, or shops back there. Either way, this will likely never happen. Where's my jerky?

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